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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming:
"WOW, what a ride !!!"

On the Couch - Volume 1: Issue 1

Thoughts that remain in my mind, long after a race or leaving my garage, AKA baring my Moto-Soul

I have a great deal of respect for riders that only race Maicos.
When I race a Maico, I always remember to bring one thing with me… another bike

After riding a TM 400 for the first time, I realized this is a bike that should
have been equipped with a coffin tank……think about it.

I love when riders in my class complain that a track sucks.
Thank you, now that I know you hate it, I have more confidence.

Once I stopped thinking about outdoor motocross while watching Super-Cross on television, I actually began to like Super-cross.

No, I don’t know how much fork oil YOUR bike takes. It’s your bike, don’t you know?

I saw a shirt that said: “I remember when motorcycles were dangerous and women were safe”
I thought it was funny, then realized, they are both still dangerous.

When I was a kid, I’d put fork boots on a bike that didn’t have fork boots, instead of changing leaky fork seals.
Don’t roll your eyes, you did it too.

I haven’t figured out if watching a racer use an adjustable wrench in plain sight bothers me or not.
I think it does, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing about it at this time.

I’ve been riding motorcycle for 35 years and, I never had a street bike license.
This is with good reason, I’ve never owned a street bike, I’m afraid I will get hurt.

It isn’t even a contest. I’d rather do a top end on a single cylinder 2 stroke than change a tire ANYDAY!

I still would like to know why it states in my 76 YZ 125 owners manual NOT to throw a mono-shock into a fire.
As if we all had an uncontrollable desire to burn a mono shock.

Tired of being asked by your wife and other ladies in your life why you have so many motorcycles?
Ask them how many pairs of shoes they have. They stop dead in their tracks every time.

If I buy a box of tear-offs, it will be the first time I have ever have.
I’ve never used them, not once.

Cleaning an air filter on a 79 CR 125 sucks, period.

A 77 Honda CR kick starter will work on a 75 KX 250
Be careful when you start it not to bruise the arch of your foot.

77 CR 125 side panels will fit a 75 KX 250 with very little effort
and no damage will be done to the arch of your foot in the process.

I charge one hour for labor to put on two new fenders.
I’ve never done it in less than 90 minutes.
I have a small idea why.
Why don’t I just charge for 90 minutes?
I don’t know, doesn’t seem fair.

Did I mention cleaning an air filter on a 79 CR 125 sucks?

Contrary to popular belief Billy Joel does not have a piano shaped pool at the Jersey shore, they will never find Jimmy Hoffa and I personally do not work on Ducati engines.

An AHRMA National Championship can not be won with only a fat check book
You still have to win when you get there.
It’s a 14 race series, and it is only the best of 7.
Who do I mostly hear make comments about this?
Guys with fat check books that can kick my ass week in and week out at a regional race, but can’t make 7 Nationals.

No matter how many times I go to the bathroom before a race, I will inevitably have to go 5 minutes before my race, but I won’t go. 20 minutes after my race is over, something comes to mind that I forgot to do. I suddenly remember what it is, go to the bathroom.

I’ve never missed a moto. This is due to me being sure I am always parked within a visual distance of the starting gate.
After racing vintage motocross for 6 years straight and racing on and off since 1976, what makes me a bit jittery? Thinking I will miss my moto.
(Probably what makes me have to piss so much too)

I always get great starts. This is due to fear, not skill.

I really don’t like black rims on a motocross bike.
Why? Seems that when I was a kid, and another kids bike was stolen, the thief for some reason painted the entire bike black, rims included.

There are far less Puch MC 250’s in the world than there are Harley 250 MX’s
There are even less Tyran’s. Never heard of a Tyran? I told you there weren’t many of them.

***


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